Well there, firstly you are experiencing the bleakest part of your life. The physical world seems immaterial, your senses have been knocked into the middle of next week, and the ruminating thoughts are like a swarm of bees flying around in your head. You may even be experiencing a dummy phobia. I obtained a fear of distances, and didn’t even leave the house for 5 weeks. I also developed a habit of raking my fingernails along my thumbs until the skin dried out and peeled. Couldn’t write save for jagged hieroglyphics due to nervous tension. Your sleep will be little more than a couple of hours. You’ll be plagued with bad dreams. You may even wonder if you are to blame, or even the narcissist yourself. You’re NOT!

THIS IS NORMAL. It is a hellish road to recovery. Might take months, might take years. As I write this, I am barely feeling a love for life again and my discard was 2 years 5 months ago. I’m still feeling the effects strongly. But I didn’t discover about covert narcissists until 6 weeks or so after the break. A chance Google search led me to a set of videos. Check out the videos page here.

I shall now list where I found my most beneficial help, based on my experience, in the hope it may help you!

Samaritans – call them as and when on 116123, even if it’s straight after the last call.

Get to your doctor right away and ask for a fit note based on your experience. It’s crucial breathing time.

Be around family and friends, the more relaxed the environment the better.

If you are in receipt of any universal credit, you may be entitled to a Limited Capacity For Work And Related Activity benefit. Visit the DWP website or ask your work coach.

Keep watching the suggested video channels. Learn what you can.

Document EVERYTHING. Take screenshots, print emails, get bank statements, record phone calls. Keep a daily journal.

Seek cognitive behavioural therapy. Your emotions are an erratic mess, and this will help you stabilise them.

Seek counselling, it will be a light aid. You may get this provided through work. It may be worth asking your boss if an occupational health assessment is possible as well.

Expect not to get anything you left with them back. Police won’t help at all in its recovery.

If they are restricting time with your kids at any level, get legal help. The sooner the better. If you are on a benefit you may qualify for Legal Aid. If not, you will need to pay. It is possible to represent yourself. Tell your solicitor everything. Check out our Parental Alienation content.

You will most likely have been left in debt, and threatening debt collection letters will start coming through the door. Contact a specialist like Carrington Dean or Stepchange to help you out as soon as you have worked out your financial plight. Remember, only pay back what you can. You need to live as well! ❤️